I suppose i've come to terms over the years with the fact that i have something of an obsessive personality (and i'm not talking about the embarrassing time that a woman asked me to stop PMing her multiple times a week on Facebook, as she was having more conversations with me than with her family or boyfriend - though i guess i have just embarrassed myself by remembering and mentioning that fact). I suppose a large majority of cult and genre fans are, to some extent - the addiction to collecting, cataloguing, making lists and so on. We all, perhaps, have fandoms and obsessions that we don't really admit to others: a particular one of mine for the past couple of years has been perusing the oeuvre of Joanna Angel (is that a euphemism? I guess).
The multi-talented performer/writer/director/producer first caught my eye when i saw a film entitled Evil Head (a naughty affectionate lampooning of horror classic The Evil Dead) a few years ago. The realm of the pornographic parody has, in recent years, been mostly dominated (that's not a euphemism) by the superhero genre, but here i was discovering a very sexy goth/punk actress making sexy parodies of horror movies. Obviously, i was in love at first sight intrigued.
Parodying Stuart Gordon's goretastic 1985 filmic adaptation of HP Lovecraft's Re-Animator, Re-Penetrator is a 22 minute (pretty much an ideal length for the intent of it's content, really) short by Doug Sakmann (writing, directing, editing and supplying the [quite good] blood and gore effects under the nom de porn of The Evil Carrot) featuring in its two-hander (now there's a double meaning for you) cast Tommy Pistol taking Jeffrey Combs' manic performance as Dr Herbert West to the ne plus ultra as 'Dr Hubert Breast and Joanna Angel as 'Corpse Girl'. Lit with appropriately crepuscular green gels that make the endeavour seem like an X-rated Mario Bava film, Dr Breast beavers away (well, not yet, he's working at the beginning...) in his mortuary/laboratory filled with steaming and bubbling beakers of yer average mad scientist kind of set-up and pulls away the sheet from his morgue slab to reveal the naked form of the Corpse Girl, dressed - of course, as i suppose most dead people are - in nothing but a pair of stripper heels. I would pause here to muse whether it's mentally healthy or not to find a naked woman attractive even when she's playing dead and made up with autopsy stitches, but i didn't want to overly worry myself.*
"Prometheus brought the gift of life - fire to man" mugs the manic doctor, showing his knowledge of both Classical mythology and the Shelleyan source of Lovecraft's story. "But I - I will bring the world a much greater gift: immmmmortality!", followed by a 'nyah-ha-ha-haaa!' cackle that would make Skeletor jealous. Preparing his resurrection serum (the same lurid luminescent green as in Re-Animator, or even Dr Alec Holland's bio-regeneration formula from Swamp Thing), Dr Breast forgoes and ordinary hypodermic for a large artificial insemination syringe - injecting the potion straight up the subject's cervical canal.
"Unlike the other failures before you, who only craved the brain," the alchemical coot croons to his creation, "you - with the help of this serum- you, my darling, will crave sex!"
And he's not wrong, you know. No sooner is the dearly departed doxy sitting up and breathing than she is treating the Maker to an eager spot of thanatological fellatio, consisting of Ms Angel obviously holding a mouthful of Kensington Gore (is that what we still call movie blood? All my reference books are out of date) and spitting it over the shaft during the act. Which i found quite effective. I mean, what is life in the end but flesh and blood and sex and death? And here we have it all - not least when we progress through the positions (ooh - from behind with some throat holding: there's nice. Though logistically you probably can't choke-fuck a corpse) and end up with some cunnilingus on the delectable corpus de-lick-ti that ends up with her shuddering out the words "I'm gonna cum all over your face!" and then some very effective gore effects as she spurts gouts of vaginal blood over the lapping lab rat. Why not play along at home during your partner's time of the month, dear readers?
It all ends - as everything does - when the spent scientist finds himself being continually pawed at by his unsated opus until she mounts him again even more hungrily, biting and clawing at him as rides him in the cowgirl position, blood and guts and sweat and other bodily fluids flying. It's how i want to go, for sure.
I guess that even in the hellish environment of a charnel house, it's heaven when an Angel is present.
(*And besides - if i can continue to cope with the fact that i once had a conversation in the University bar that consisted of someone asking me if i discovered the body of an attractive woman "and she was still warm", would i consider necrophilia to be okay - then i can cope with anything. The man who was emitting these opinions went on to be jailed for taking a weapon into the drama studio one day and holding everyone to ransom. I state this simply as a matter of historical record, rather than drawing a specific correlation between events.)
Parodying Stuart Gordon's goretastic 1985 filmic adaptation of HP Lovecraft's Re-Animator, Re-Penetrator is a 22 minute (pretty much an ideal length for the intent of it's content, really) short by Doug Sakmann (writing, directing, editing and supplying the [quite good] blood and gore effects under the nom de porn of The Evil Carrot) featuring in its two-hander (now there's a double meaning for you) cast Tommy Pistol taking Jeffrey Combs' manic performance as Dr Herbert West to the ne plus ultra as 'Dr Hubert Breast and Joanna Angel as 'Corpse Girl'. Lit with appropriately crepuscular green gels that make the endeavour seem like an X-rated Mario Bava film, Dr Breast beavers away (well, not yet, he's working at the beginning...) in his mortuary/laboratory filled with steaming and bubbling beakers of yer average mad scientist kind of set-up and pulls away the sheet from his morgue slab to reveal the naked form of the Corpse Girl, dressed - of course, as i suppose most dead people are - in nothing but a pair of stripper heels. I would pause here to muse whether it's mentally healthy or not to find a naked woman attractive even when she's playing dead and made up with autopsy stitches, but i didn't want to overly worry myself.*
"Unlike the other failures before you, who only craved the brain," the alchemical coot croons to his creation, "you - with the help of this serum- you, my darling, will crave sex!"
And he's not wrong, you know. No sooner is the dearly departed doxy sitting up and breathing than she is treating the Maker to an eager spot of thanatological fellatio, consisting of Ms Angel obviously holding a mouthful of Kensington Gore (is that what we still call movie blood? All my reference books are out of date) and spitting it over the shaft during the act. Which i found quite effective. I mean, what is life in the end but flesh and blood and sex and death? And here we have it all - not least when we progress through the positions (ooh - from behind with some throat holding: there's nice. Though logistically you probably can't choke-fuck a corpse) and end up with some cunnilingus on the delectable corpus de-lick-ti that ends up with her shuddering out the words "I'm gonna cum all over your face!" and then some very effective gore effects as she spurts gouts of vaginal blood over the lapping lab rat. Why not play along at home during your partner's time of the month, dear readers?
I guess that even in the hellish environment of a charnel house, it's heaven when an Angel is present.
(*And besides - if i can continue to cope with the fact that i once had a conversation in the University bar that consisted of someone asking me if i discovered the body of an attractive woman "and she was still warm", would i consider necrophilia to be okay - then i can cope with anything. The man who was emitting these opinions went on to be jailed for taking a weapon into the drama studio one day and holding everyone to ransom. I state this simply as a matter of historical record, rather than drawing a specific correlation between events.)
No comments:
Post a Comment