Of all the numerous attempts by ITV to come up with their own telefantasy series to rival the BBC's Doctor Who in the 1970s, Roger Price's answer to the question "what if David Bowie was right, and we do have to make way for the homo superior" psychedelic wet dream The Tomorrow People (which originally ran from 1973 to 1979, before an interesting revival 1992 to 1995 and a wretched one 2015 to 2014) may well be the best known. However, its predecessor Ace of Wands also ought to be acknowledged among the fandom of the phantastical. Created by Trevor Preston (who had previously penned episodes for series ranging from Freewheelers to Callan, and would go on to write the... unusual... musical vamp-com Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire [Alan Clarke, 1987]) and running for three series between 1970 and 1972, it followed the exploits of the flamboyant magician known only as Tarot (played by Michael MacKenzie) and his trusty companions - Judy Loe and Tony 'Get Some In!/Sabalom Glitz' Selby in seasons one and two, Petra Markham and Roy Holder in the third and final (and only extant) season - as they battled strange and often supernatural foes.
The three-part opener of Ace of Wands' second season, 'Seven Serpents, Sulphur and Salt', introduced the villainous figure of the sorcerous Mr Stabs (Russell Hunter, Lonely of Callan fame) and his familiars: the diminutive and odious Luko (Ian Trigger) and the beautiful and airy Polandi (Harriet Harper). Alas, the acquisitive adventures of this alchemical archon are amiss, season two like the first being missing presumed wiped like so much archive television of the 1960s and '70s. But the mysterious Mr Stabs and his magical hand would, like James Bond, return long after the series itself had ended. You just can't keep a good bad guy down. First returning in an episode of anthology series Shadows later in the decade, the actual first chronological escapade of the (hands of) warlock would appear in 1984 as an installment of occasionally psychologically-scarring children's show Dramarama - as the eponymous anti-hero of 'Mr Stabs'.
"Bow before the scarlet glove!"
Taking place in the unearthly aethereal netherworld of the City of Shadows - a locale resembling mid-'80s TV LARP-athon Knightmare with it's mediaeval sets and overlaid lightning effects - where a representative of the scarlet-clad Brotherhood of the Great Six-Fingered One (who knew that Anne Boleyn would have such a following in the great beyond?) played by future Balon Greyjoy Patrick Malahide pays a visit to the wizened wizard king Melchizedek (the great John Woodnutt, of thrice a Doctor Who appearance and "Approach the Spidronnn!" Tomorrow People... fame[?]). This ancient monarch upon his ancient throne, accompanied by a familiar raven (the Celtic symbol of kingship alongside a man whose name means "king of righteousness" - after the mythical priest-king of Salem - emphasising that this is one royal motherfucking dude) disputes the Brotherhood's nomination of a challenger to go up against him in order to usurp the power he has gathered over the centuries, for he will not give up the Black Glove that wields his great and mighty power. Smell the glove. None more black.
"Time has bent you with his crooked hand."
We are then introduced to the younger incarnation of Mr Stabs (David Jason of sitcom fame playing the Ewan McGregor to Russell Hunter's Alec Guinness) and his impish familiar Luko (the late 3' 11'' David Rappaport of Terry Gilliam's 1981 classic Time Bandits, in a very BBC Chronicles of Narnia style make-up and costume a couple of years early). Jason plays Stabs with a very hisssing sssibilant cadencsssse that's very sssserpentine, threatening the "hapless Hobgoblin" Luko, and laughing off the challenge from the "fatuous female" Polandi (Lorna Heilbron, who had earlier guested in Ace of Wands itself as Miss Pascoe in 'The Joker' before her sister Vivien Heilbron appeared as Emm in the show's finale 'The Beautiful People). Summoned before the College of Cardinals of the dark world, both the sinister Stabs and the imperious flame-maned Polandi - who proudly points out that her name is inscribed in blood in the Great Book alongside King Melchizedek - vie for the opportunity to seize the glove and claim the power.
"Before seven serpent moons have waned, one of you will face Melchizedek."
After out-expelliarmusing Polandi in a wizard-off, Mr Stabs is found by the conclave to be worthy of the quest to find the mysterious ravenstone, following time's shadow to the Great Gates - a mighty Egyptian-fashioned portal guarded by the crux ansata-wielding Dog (Derrick Branche in impressive ophidian contact lenses). Breaking the surly bonds of the City of Shadows and punching the face of Dog, Stabs and Luko pass through the Gate to ascend a Tower of Babel-like winding stairway to
The secret origin of Mr Stabs (to use a Marvel/DC comics description) is a fascinating relic of a road not taken. Penned by the character's creator, Trevor Preston. as a possible pilot ( a "backdoor pilot" to use a phrase that many Doctor Who fans became familiar with in the 1990s, and not just as a euphemism for homosexual activity) for a Mr Stabs spin-off series that was never to occur - though according to Preston himself he had six scripts written and ready to be produced. Maybe Big Finish could get on the case.
No glove, no love.
