Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Deadly Prey (1987, David A. Prior)


This film was, when i was about fifteen years old, without a shadow of a doubt the best film ever made in the whole of time. And it still is.

Mike Danton is an ex-commando hardman who is retired to a quiet suburban life. His day starts off quite normally, putting out the bins for his wife. But to be kidnapped by a gang of armed men, bundled into the back of a van, and released into the woods to be hunted down as a human target for a gang of wannabe mercenaries? Whilst putting out the bins? Nobody expects that.

Thankfully, our Mike hasn't forgotten his years of training to be a B-list Rambo, and proves to be quite a Hard Target for his enemies. He's no meek quarry: he is DEADLY PREY!!! Amongst such hilarious shenanigans as achieving invisibility by hiding up a tree draped in a couple of leaves, and slicing of a guy's arm with a machete and beating him with said sliced appendage (with the wet end), Danton tracks down the evil Colonel responsible for his ordeal, a Colonel who by the caprice of fate is the very man who trained him with these superb abilities to survive.

Another twist has Mike's father-in-law (played by sleaze veteran Cameron Mitchell), an ex-cop, try to track down Mike and the guys who snatched him.

Don't think about the plot too much, just pull on some cut-off denims, smear your face with muck like a commando as we did when young, and howl at the sky just like Mike Danton in the poster. We all have an inner Danton. Let him loose. I know mine. I trained him.

See also: Commando, Hard Target (but this is miles better than either)


  1. We all have a film that speaks to us at a certain age, when I was 13 I watched John Carpenter's "The Thing" about once a day. I can still quote large chunks if called upon to do so at partys. I never get invited to partys now. That .GIF is mesmerising. It's like frustrated teenage manhood freed in one explosive outburst.

    1. I can still do the 'quote film verbatim' thing with many a movie. No-one ever asks me to, i just do. Especially Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I memorised the opening monologue for my drama audition ay uni and it's never left me.

      I'm enjoying the phrase 'frustrated teenage manhood'.

  2. Hmmm... pretty sure it's a metaphor for castrating somebody, possibly said teenage man's father. Also, the lack of blood is disturbing. It's like the victim is an Auton or something.

    Chap in the poster looks less like he's howling at the sky (á la Anakin in Revenge of the Sith) and more like he's trying to conduct an orchestra.

  3. Leopold Danton, the composer, was his brother.