No Retreat, No Surrender (1986, Cory Yuen)

This film has long held a pride of place in my personal pantheon of classic '80s action flicks, alongside other luminaries such as "Bloodsport" and "Deadly Prey". In fact, i think a great night in with beers 'n' snacks with all three of these bad boys is long overdue - though i may well die from an overdose of pure unadulterated genius.

Basic kung-fu revenge plot involves a young man called Jason (although for some reason for years i remembered him as being called "Dan"... i have no idea why, unless i'd somehow conflated this with "The Karate Kid". Which seems impossible, what with this being 5000 times better!) avenging the crippling of his karate sensei father (the appalling acting stylings of Tim Baker, take a bow!) at the hands - and indeed feet - of martial arts gangsters. The twist here is that the inevitable training montage in order to take vengeance is aided not only by bizarre break dancing Michael Jackson impersonator R.J., but by the ghost of Bruce Lee (played by Kim Tae Chung himself, the not very Bruce Lee Bruce Lee from "Game of Death")!!! After a gruelling training regime involving quality '80s music and some terrifying homoeroticism with R.J., Jason / Dan takes on the high-kicking, splits-performing Jean-Claude Van Damme himself. Though whether or not JCVD is playing 'Ivan Krezinsky the Russian' or 'Carl Brezdin' depends on whether you believe the dialogue or the credits!! Either way, Jason / Dan vs. Ivan/ Carl is a true clash of the titans that fans of hokey genius cannot afford to miss!!

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