Saturday, 27 June 2015

Mega Python Vs Gatoroid (2011, Mary Lambert)




This is a very strong contender, i feel, for the title of best film ever made in the entire history of time.

Now, i'm not saying that it's a great film, or even a good one really. It's just that the very existence of a film wherein '80s popstrels Debbie Gibson and Tiffany fight in a swamp... Debbie Gibson and Tiffany... mud-wrestling... It's like someone hacked into the dreams of my ten-year-old self and beamed them directly onto celluloid. The fact that the movie also contains giant lizards engaged in a serpentine duel to the death is just the icing on the cake.
Said gargantuan reptiles may not be the greatest effects committed to film (in fact, the word "special" is possibly not applicable to these effects), but that just enhanced the charm. Speaking of "charms", hasn't Tiffany grown? She now resembles Karen Gillan's MILFy mother, and that ain't no bad thing. Still more of a Gibson fan, myself, though.
 Monsters, ex-teen pinups, and in-jokes galore. When the lines "I think we're alone now..", "There doesn't seem to be anyone around!" were uttered, i think i nearly spontaneously combusted with joy. Truly the stuff of a madman's dreams.


  1. I like reptiles. I'm a total herpetophile.

  2. I was always into Tiffany back in the day myself. Though the two of them together plus mega-reptiles is awesome. Tiffany has a great rack as well.

  3. Indeed she does. There are more movies of this ilk out there, apparently - Debbie Gibson stars in 'Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus' and 'Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark' (which obviously sounds AWESOME), and Tiffany is in one called 'Mega Piranha'. There just isn't enough time to watch all of these celluloid ribbons of dreams.