Saturday, 13 June 2015

Satan's Baby Doll [La Bimba di Satana] (1982, Mario Bianchi)

This sepulchral little incubus of a film is a gem for those who walk among us with a taste for the more outre aspects of Euro-horror.  I'm still not entirely sure that it can be remotely described as a 'good film', or even an adequate one in most critical respects, but it's not without its moments, and it's certainly of interest.

We begin the movie with the funeral of Maria Aguilar (Marina Hedman, Swedish star of such fleshly opuses as Erotic Flash, Aristocratica Perversa, The Beast in Space [op. cit.] and the wonderful sounding Orgasmo Non-Stop), and her inhumation in the vaults of the family castle.  The Aguilars are certainly an interesting brood - the recently bereaved Antonio (Aldo Sambrell) is a psychotic drug fiend, his catatonic and wheelchair bound brother Ignazio (Alfonso Gaita) is faking it and spying on his nurse / nun Sol (Mariangela Giordano) as she slides out of her habit to indulge in periodic bouts of masturbation (oh, and i'm crying foul on a nun wearing stockings and suspenders under her habit: very nice, but a bit of verisimilitude amongst this lunacy would be nice!), and family retainer Isidro (Joe Davers) is sacrificing poultry and worshipping Satan in the family crypt.

Just like that.
The most 'normal' member of this clan is young daughter Miria (played by the lovely Jacqueline Dupre).  Sadly, the late and lamented mother Maria was, of course, a devil worshipping witch, and her spirit returns to inhabit the body of young Miria (we're all thinking the same thing) and mete out a ghastly revenge on the surviving members of the household.  So we are treated to a parade of the lesbian seduction of a nun, borderline incest, murder and a quite effective sequence wherein one of the decaying denizens of the crypt is revived as a rotting revenant of revenge.

Because why not?

The DVD from Shameless Entertainment contains the 'strongest possible legal version' of the film, meaning that some footage from the uncut alternate XXX rated version have been spliced in.  And the shocking difference in film grain is marked: Sol's 'masturbating nun' sequence switches quality several times, and a lot of the scene is like watching an old Super-8 projection.  Glaucoma inducing, but if that's the only way to watch such a charmingly sordid scene, then fair do's.

Anyone fancying a walk on the wilder side of B-grade horror could do worse than check it out.  Not much worse, mind, but there we are.  We take our kicks where we can get 'em.


  1. I can see that my sex life would have improved immeasurably by becoming a nun. I missed out there it seems.

  2. Yes: they always seem to be getting action in the flicks i watch.:)It's a shame that the Nunsploitation subgenre has seemingly died out.

  3. Full disclosure: my aunt Lucy is a nun.

    I have to say, you do not want verisimilitude in your films about nuns. It'd be sixteen non-stop hours of kind, middle-aged, boring women in the type of NHS glasses that they stopped making decades ago, doing things like praying, cooking, weeding the convent garden, praying, going to Mass, going to confession, praying, looking after the convent cat and praying.

    Trust me: sex-mad nymphomaniacs who can't go five minutes without rubbin' the nubbin don't tend to volunteer for a life in which you have to faithfully promise to be completely asexual. It's not like there are any compensations that would make it an attractive life despite the lack of sex. You don't get any power, rich dinners, fancy ornaments or luxury lifestyles like some people do in the Vatican (the last pope was rumoured to wear hand-made shoes...). There's no alcohol, the routine is monotonous and full of boring activities, you have to wear a habit all the time and the food is nourishing but unexciting.

    Sorry, just had to get that off my chest because I am fed up of the tired old nympho nuns cliché. I feel better now :-D

  4. You have torn my happy little fantasies asunder.:p

  5. :,-(

    I'm sure that knowing the cold, hard, boring facts of life won't in any way dent your enjoyment of your shelf (shelves?) of 'special' DVDs.

  6. You almost make it sound sordid.:)

  7. You spend 99% of your time online trying to convince us that you're a massive pervert. You'd be disappointed if I thought you weren't sordid.

  8. It's a carefully constructed facade of crassness, created via mirrors and pulleys to conceal my gentle flower like soul. Shhh, don't tell anyone.